My mom for her 1956-57 school season.
Mother’s Day is fast approaching. Given that many of us are still sheltering in place due to COVID-19, we may not be able to meet up with our mother to celebrate. If that’s your situation, don’t fret; at least plan to call her, setup a video meeting, send a card, or have a gift delivered. However, this Mother’s Day, mom may be more concerned with where her money is coming from than where her next mimosa is coming from. She may also be worried about outliving her money. Read on to learn why and for tips on opening a dialogue with mom about money.
Mom may have more on her mind than a Mother’s Day gift and the pandemic. I just read in the April edition of Financial Advisor magazine that women age 65 or older are 80% more likely to be below the poverty threshold than men according to the article The Facts of Life for Women Retirees. As expected, figures vary widely depending on whether mom is married, single, or divorced.
Whether single, widowed, or divorced, mom may also be very fierce about living independently. This doesn’t mean that she may not need some help with financial planning. This is a topic that needs to be discussed with your mom, but be prepared for some hesitation. It may take mom time to get used to the idea. The following are a few tips to get you started.
Be open and understanding about your mom’s desire to live on her own and be independent. This is very important to many women and a core part of their identity. Make sure you honor that by not being accusatory, judgmental, or condescending. This should be a two-way dialogue and a supportive offer. You want mom to be comfortable talking honestly about her financial situation.
Don’t assume; trust, but verify. Be direct once conversation is flowing. If mom claims she is still the beneficiary on an account, or has life insurance, or long-term care insurance in place, offer in a polite way to review documents to confirm that all details are in good order. Make sure that what mom assumes, is actually true. Many people have thought that they had a certain type of coverage, or thought they were an annuity recipient, or heir, only to find out too late, that is no longer the case.
Check mom’s Social Security. For example, mom may be divorced and claiming on her own earning’s record. However, if she was married at least ten years, and her former spouse was a high earner, it may make sense for her to claim a spousal benefit instead of her own if that leads to a higher benefit. It doesn’t matter if her former spouse is remarried. This is a topic area worth discussing.
Get organized! Gift your mom an important documents binder. It can come in handy in emergencies (for her, and you). Let your mom customize this binder. Have mom put all of her important documents inside such as her Will, insurance contracts, Durable Power of Attorney, deed, Social Security statement, and maybe even a farewell letter to the family. It’s her binder, let her personalize it all she wants, but make sure it contains all of her vital documents. You can read more about what to put into her binder at my blog post Do You Have a Special Emergency Binder. Or, at this post, Do You Have a Special Grab-N-Go Emergency Binder.
Let your mom know that you are willing to discuss financial issues with her on an on-going basis. It may take time for her to be comfortable addressing certain topics. You should also be honest with your mom if you don’t understand or know a particular topic in detail. Offer to find out more for her. Get help from a fee-only Certified Financial Planner™. We can’t all be experts in every area of finance, so it’s ok to acknowledge that and to call in the pros.
As an independent Certified Financial Planner™, I can help you with the unfamiliar areas, set up a plan, and put that plan into action to help mom get ready for retirement and beyond. Contact me and let’s get started. #talktometuesday #getstarted #HowIcanHelpYou #GetHelp #Hireaplanner #MothersDay #retiree #mom #CFPPro #savemoney #women #womenandmoney #FinancialFeminism